I don’t know how something so simple, brief, and unexpected can make me feel so fine, and at the same time, so sad. Sad for not knowing what will come next, sad for not knowing if it will ever be this extraordinary again, if I will ever see these friends again, my best friends, that were randomly given to me, but made unique and special in such a short period of time.
These were the best 17 days of my life, each day I would wake up, after not that many hours of sleep, just to realize how happy I was, how completed I felt.
I miss everyone already, I miss hanging out with Philipp the whole day, and having Kristina Cipelli sleeping with us, showering with us, just being there with us. I miss the Latinas Sofia, Dama and Nikki; that always made me feel so proud for being South American. I miss the Brazilian girls Ana, Luisa and Marina, to whom I’d always look after. The guys Roberto, Devon and Quentin, and how different they were from each other, but ended up making a great trio. I miss Kristina Zimblyte, and how adorable she was, at all times, no matter what. I miss Debbie, our Lonely Wolf and Robin, with his bad mood throughout the entire trip.
I miss all the noise, all the txt messages, all the planning, the heat, the journals, the bad food, everybody coming and going from our room, all the music, all the different languages that you could always hear on the background.
I miss the sunsets, the sleepless nights and the wake up calls and the one sunrise we once saw, I miss the hookah, I miss the sand and the ocean, and even the curfew time and breaking it as well.
And now, that’s over. I don’t understand why, but I feel empty, emptier than when I first got on that bus. Right now I don’t look forward to anything anymore, whatever happens happened, it feels like that was the time of my life, and now it’s behind me. Not just those 17 days, but my whole year as an exchange student now is behind me, and there is nothing I can do, it was an amazing year that had come to an end.
“I am incapable of conceiving infinity, and yet I do not accept finity.”
- Simone de Beauvoir
I knew it wouldn’t last forever, I can’t make that happen. But I’ll never forget them, they will always be in my heart, and on my skin, reminding me how happy I was, how lucky I felt, and how proud I am for being who I am today.
- Marcos Carvalho, July, 13th 2010